Tuesday, June 22, 2010

A Doodle for My Future Boyfriend: Part Two

I thought things were going well with my 'publishing guy'. We were exchanging e-mails. We'd gone on two dates. TWO! That's like automatic boyfriend status here in NYC where people say they're going to call and never do. When guys don't call or text after the second date happens, it feels like being dumped for the very first time - all over again. NYC people are true flakes to the nth degree.

So I sent my future boyfriend, 'publishing guy', another doodle. He liked it this time because it was a doodle of him and a pet parrot he once had, named Floozy Lee. Can a girl really love a guy who had a parrot as a pet? Either way, he bailed on me over the weekend. It was his mom's retirement party and he had to attend, which was completely understandable, but it's been four days and I haven't gotten an e-mail or a text since. I don't know about his future boyfriend potential anymore...

I went on a date over the weekend anyway. I met this funny, Greek guy through a friend and while I knew he was a bit of a party dude, I wasn't daunted. I saw "Party Dude" once over a month ago but he was traveling for work, so we weren't able to get together for a few weeks. He texted me randomly and asked if I wanted to go to the beach last Saturday. Hells yeah! Except the beach was by his parents house, in Far Rockaway, and I have to admit, it's kind of weird meeting a dude's parents on a second date. But they were sweet and nice and we had an amazing day on the beach which led to bar-hopping in Carroll Gardens after we got back to the city. Party Dude was a real old-fashioned gent who opened doors and picked up the tab everywhere we went. He was kind, genuine, amusing, and ... he lives by himself and has a car. My standards aren't very high, I'll admit. He's not very cute but there's something about him that's very attractive to me and if it weren't for the fact that he's 25, still does drugs, and has no interest in commitment, he might actually be date-able. Maybe.

He was even amused by my drunken antics. We were at the Tiki Hut on Smith Street and I made two alligator-shaped drink stirrers have sex with a mermaid. Then I dared him to steal glasses from another bar. We walked out, with our drinks in hand, and sat in some park to chill for a while. We left the glasses in the park after we finished, intending to come back from them later, but alas and alack, we forgot. I hope some hobo found them and put them to good use. The rest of the night was really fuzzy and I woke up in my bra and a pair of Party Dude's boxers. I guess he's not the only one who can party. Whoops.

I had a terrible hangover the next day and whiled away the time in bed watching episodes of The Biggest Loser, wishing I hadn't drank so much. What's happened to my 'publishing guy'? Frowny face.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

A Doodle For My Future Boyfriend

tiramisu could never defeat an m&m in a food war.
that's cuz m&ms are ninjas - in a candy-coated shell.

I'm tired and it's late so I'm keeping this short. I started dating a guy in publishing, whom I met through a mutual friend. We went to see the band Metric live in a venue on the West side and this 'publishing guy' seemed to like me but I wasn't sure at the end of the night because of the chaste peck we shared at the subway. I think he also scurried away from me right afterward. BUT, we kept talking via e-mail all week and I thought to myself, "Finally! A dude who keeps in touch on a regular basis and someone I can relate to!"

I tried to woo him by making him jealous over the fact that I got a free packet of pretzel M&Ms in Herald Square. They usually give out free goodies there in the summer but my "publishing dude" wasn't impressed because he had tiramisu with lunch. I drew this doodle to a.) show him my super-duper-awesome artistic abilities and b.) to make him laugh cuz guys like funny girls, right? He e-mailed me back and told me my doodle was racist. I can't help it if all ninjas are Asian.

Naturally, his comment dampened my enthusiasm for him and I went through the next few days vacillating between cutting things off or putting him in the 'friend zone'. He kept e-mailing me and we went on a second date. I'm not sure if I've sufficiently wooed him, perhaps more racist doodles are in order, but I've decided that this guy will be my future boyfriend. Oh yes, he will be mine.

Why I Stopped Bloggedy-Blogging and Why I'm Back Again

I stopped blogging for a little while because I was going through a personal crisis. I was still finding dates, too many in fact, and it really cut into my work hours. I watched my productivity decline, my spirits sink, my friendships dissolve and I resolved to cut back for a little while, even though most of the dates were good, with a sprinkling of bad and crazy (who was that guy whose face I licked at Rudy's??). I was deeply unhappy and knew that I needed a change. I knew that dating was not helping my circumstances.

Still, I stopped blogging because I realized I was in love with my ex-boyfriend. It wasn't over. I needed closure, I needed to heal, I needed a goddamn break from having a boyfriend, significant other, late-night hook-up, you name it. Of course, this didn't stop me but it made me think about my life, what I wanted from it, and where it should go. I'm still a messed up chick in New York City, but at least I'm a little less messed up now, a little more polished and a bit more in control. Most of all, after nine months of working on my goals and getting over what was a doomed relationship, I feel better. Honestly and truly. Hallelujah and praise Jeebus.

So what do I do?

I start dating. I'm a dumbass. Tis true.