Thursday, June 17, 2010

A Doodle For My Future Boyfriend

tiramisu could never defeat an m&m in a food war.
that's cuz m&ms are ninjas - in a candy-coated shell.

I'm tired and it's late so I'm keeping this short. I started dating a guy in publishing, whom I met through a mutual friend. We went to see the band Metric live in a venue on the West side and this 'publishing guy' seemed to like me but I wasn't sure at the end of the night because of the chaste peck we shared at the subway. I think he also scurried away from me right afterward. BUT, we kept talking via e-mail all week and I thought to myself, "Finally! A dude who keeps in touch on a regular basis and someone I can relate to!"

I tried to woo him by making him jealous over the fact that I got a free packet of pretzel M&Ms in Herald Square. They usually give out free goodies there in the summer but my "publishing dude" wasn't impressed because he had tiramisu with lunch. I drew this doodle to a.) show him my super-duper-awesome artistic abilities and b.) to make him laugh cuz guys like funny girls, right? He e-mailed me back and told me my doodle was racist. I can't help it if all ninjas are Asian.

Naturally, his comment dampened my enthusiasm for him and I went through the next few days vacillating between cutting things off or putting him in the 'friend zone'. He kept e-mailing me and we went on a second date. I'm not sure if I've sufficiently wooed him, perhaps more racist doodles are in order, but I've decided that this guy will be my future boyfriend. Oh yes, he will be mine.

Why I Stopped Bloggedy-Blogging and Why I'm Back Again

I stopped blogging for a little while because I was going through a personal crisis. I was still finding dates, too many in fact, and it really cut into my work hours. I watched my productivity decline, my spirits sink, my friendships dissolve and I resolved to cut back for a little while, even though most of the dates were good, with a sprinkling of bad and crazy (who was that guy whose face I licked at Rudy's??). I was deeply unhappy and knew that I needed a change. I knew that dating was not helping my circumstances.

Still, I stopped blogging because I realized I was in love with my ex-boyfriend. It wasn't over. I needed closure, I needed to heal, I needed a goddamn break from having a boyfriend, significant other, late-night hook-up, you name it. Of course, this didn't stop me but it made me think about my life, what I wanted from it, and where it should go. I'm still a messed up chick in New York City, but at least I'm a little less messed up now, a little more polished and a bit more in control. Most of all, after nine months of working on my goals and getting over what was a doomed relationship, I feel better. Honestly and truly. Hallelujah and praise Jeebus.

So what do I do?

I start dating. I'm a dumbass. Tis true.